Reconciliation of Conflicts

HI! I’m back. I would like to write this about what I have read and learned today. I read a mini thesis of my senior in my faculty. The topic is about conflict which influence to children’s self-esteem between parents and teenagers. I will not review what the mini thesis written and what the result of its research. But, I want to share about conflict happening around us.And facilitate you to have a simple solution from your own reflection.

Let me tell you the definition of conflict. Based from the mini thesis, conflict is an effort showed by people in an interaction who perceive a different goal, scarcity of resources, and interference from others for achieving their goals (Wilmot & Hocker, 2001, on Mairawati, 2006). From this definition, we can see that the reasons of the conflict itself. People have their own goals. They tend to complete their needs in some ways, included through interaction with others. More obviously, conflicts categorized in three types. They are content, relational, and identity conflict.

First is content, people involve in conflict to obtain a thing. For example, a teenager asks their parent to give him a car. The parents cannot allow his demand because of his age. Thus, this kid feel upset then behave inappropriately. Second is relational, most people want to be treated well. In common, people seldom communicate explicitly. But, we can know the reasons that people do this type. For example, some people want to be appreciated of what things they have done. Third is identity. People are trying to keep the self. It means their self-esteem, pride, or etc. In a conflict, people tend to be a stubborn person. They believe what their belief without consider the others. They will always protect themselves. On the other hand, people who can be mentioned as “victim” can behave harmfully to their self. In addition, it will be happened if the conflict is giving an opinion or judgment to others.

Besides the explanation above, there is an internal component which triggers the conflict. That is a need of power. The meaning of power is different for each person. We understand that people are struggling to survive. By a power, we agree that they can stay alive so well. Thus, it triggers them to get more power from the resources. But, how if it happens too much. We can see from media. People do criminal because they want to excess their power. Let say, corruption.  

I am just asking, why don’t people use their power to give a benefit to each others? Why don’t we stay humble of things we have now? I just found the blessing words. For by the grace given to me I warn everyone among you not to estimate and think of himself more highly than he ought, but to rate his ability with sober judgment, each according to the degree of faith apportioned by God to him (Rome 12:3). Living as becomes you with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another (Ephesians 4:2). Do nothing from factional motives or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regards the others as better than and superior to himself (Philippians 2:3). Can you imagine how our lives if people keep their humility and share love genuinely to others? May God bless you! God loves you!

Sources:

Holy Bible

Mairawati, D. (2006). Gambaran konflik orangtua-remaja dan dampaknya terhadap self-esteem remaja. Skripsi Psikologi. Depok: Fakultas Psikologi Universitas Indonesia.